I have been researching and deliberating ways that I can contribute to the greater good of humanity for over 2 years now. More specifically, there are many problems I see in society today and common threads that connect them all. Step by baby step, the universe has guided me to the place I am now and there have been several recent developments that have brought me greater clarity. I know many of you are just dying to know what I have been up to, so here is an update!
Social Entrepreneurship
I came across a free online course several weeks back called Social Entrepreneurship, and I signed up. Just one week in, I realized I needed to wait when the instructor recommended that people take the class with the actual team that they would want to build a business with. While they did leave users with the option of working in groups remotely with people all over the world, I put my efforts on hold because I remember from graduate school how difficult this can be. Plus, I know many like-minded people and I was confident that I would be able to bring together a team that is just as passionate as I am about being the change.
Social entrepreneurship involves taking a problem you see in the community around you, figuring out a scalable solution, and applying business principles to help the idea thrive and grow. I had never considered this concept but I knew right away this was something I was interested in!
A Little Inspiration
The first week of the course premiered a video that presented a successful projects designed by alumni around the world. Each of the stories presented were amazing but one of them in particular stuck out to me and I have thought of it often since then. The business idea involved these two dads that were frustrated with the current high school mindset of “just getting them to graduation.” When they realized high schoolers don’t really listen to their parents or other adults so much as they do their peers, they came up with a great idea!
The company they founded recruits leaders among each class and coaches them to start the conversation about college and plans for after graduation. By utilizing a students’ peer group, they make it cool to look ahead at the future! The idea spread like wild fire and similar programs have been implemented in high schools across the United States.
Social Entrepreneurship is only one of the courses offered by this online institution. What makes this coursework different is that the lessons are directly relevant to the real world. The assignments each week are pieces of the puzzle that are necessary for success. By the time students complete all the courses, they have all the tools they need to build their socially-conscious business and present to potential investors.
Again, the instructor recommends that people complete the course with their own team because the assignments walk you through all the business decisions and development of the business plan, marketing strategy, long-term logistics, etc. As an added bonus, when the entire program is finished, the opportunity to present with real investors is facilitated by the institution. Many of these investors are former graduates of the courses that are interested in paying it forward by investing in fellow alumni.
It Wasn’t The Right Time
I knew this was something that I wanted to do, and I knew that pieces would fall into place if I held off. I continued on my path of allowing the Universe to lead me where I am needed. I have a hard time with slowing down to relax, and that has only gotten worse without my kids. You don’t have to tell me that is a trauma response, a means to avoid thinking about the gaping hole in my heart. When I have not been obsessively focused on writing blog posts and developing content to educate people about what the department of human services is doing to families, I was dragging Jim on adventures.
August 2021
September 2021
We have been backpacking and couch surfing around eastern Iowa, doing our best to make the world a better place everywhere that the universe directs us to go. We noticed many subtle signs that we are on the right path, but I couldn’t quite grasp exactly where we should be directing our efforts. The synchronicities continued to find us as we made new friends and connections and gradually things have come into focus.
Professional Reflections
Throughout my career as a nurse, and in the years since then, I have witnessed much sadness and struggle. In the moment, it may seem hopeless to create change, but in reflection, resounding themes and solutions make themselves apparent. After my experiences with the department of human services, I realized that most people do not deserve to endure the trauma of being separated from their children. I saw first hand how the problem is not what society believes it to be. I will discuss the factors that have been presented to mislead the public in another post, and you wil no doubt be surprised at what I have to say
The social conditions and stigmas surrounding certain populations contribute to the prevalence of child abuse, but it is the policies and protocols of child welfare services that are the biggest problem! The jaded attitudes that case workers develop towards the populations they are supposed to serve drive their decisions and they are passing these biased points of view on to young case workers! A misinformed, concerned public influences legislation with the intent of saving lives, but they forget that parents are people too. More often than not, parents are simply struggling and need a little help to make it through!
Parents today face the same ever-increasing magnitude of challenges. It is easy for me to see that the basis of these issues have way more to do with knowledge deficits and a lack of resources than an inability to overcome mental health or substance use issues or an alleged indifference toward caring for their children. I have yet to meet a parent that wasn’t doing the best they could! I realized that I took the knowledge and wisdom gained through my education and career for granted. So many of the people I have met are just like me, they just didn’t have the opportunity to develop the knowledge, skills, or resources to overcome the obstacles.
I had already started developing a packet of information to help parents prevent abuse allegations and how to handle everything if they do end up with DHS getting involved. This project has been in the works for years now, and despite my best efforts to force it along, it was just recently that I began making real true progress on it. While I was working on this project the other night, the idea hit me!
My EUREKA! Moment
THIS is how I can fight back against the department that stole and brainwashed my children! THIS is how I can empower others to help me make a difference and actually be the change that we want to see, instead of just talking about it. In addition to the parent packet, I want to be on the front lines working directly with families that are involved with the child welfare system! I want to help teach parents better techniques for smoother operation of their homelife. If their children have been stolen, I want to help them the advantage of the unplanned “break” from their children in a way that builds a more solid foundation for the future.
Currently, I am reaching out to people that I think might be interested in getting involved with this project at various levels. I am also making the necessary preparations to lead a team on this important mission. Please email me for more information!
Personal Reflections
All the conversations I have had in recent years confirm my suspicions that we all essentially want the same things. We all still have the same American values. Unfortunately, these basic human desires have been buried under skepticism and frustration as we are triggered by specific words that we have been programmed to react to!
Many of us are living in the past and waiting for the other person to do right before we will do right. That eye for an eye mentality has only fueled the flames of our destruction. Our actions towards each other feed the drive of our elected officials and the organizations they develop in their mission to “save” children by removing them from their parents. And even though they know the system is not working, they still feel validated because we all have been contributing to the shit show.
We HAVE TO stop hurting each other! We HAVE TO take accountability for our families and STOP throwing each other under the bus. We need to stop cheating, and lying, and hurting one another. We need to put our children first and realize that every time judge someone else’s situation from the outside or we make false allegations out of spite that WE ARE SHOOTING OURSELVES IN THE FOOT.
To clarify, (even though I shouldn’t need to, but no doubt that some of you reading this will find a way to take offense or delude yourself into thinking I condone abuse) when I refer to people that make petty or false allegations, I am not talking about people that report others that intentionally inflict harm on a child in any way. I am advocating for the rights of families!
Some Statistics I’ve Found
First, check out the following image from the parent information booklet I am putting together.
Take a look at the next three images taken of pages 3 through 5 of the Iowa Child and Family Services Review final report from 2018. Note the amount of money that the state of Iowa receives from the federal government and allocates for recruiting, training, and reimbursing foster families and kinship caregivers versus the budget for educating and preserving families.
Now, consider the proven detrimental effects of added turmoil experienced by both the parents and the children when DHS suddenly removes a child from the home. Put yourself in the shoes of those struggling moms and dads that are working hard to keep it together only to have the rug pulled out from under their feet and their world turned upside down. If you haven’t been through it, trust me that you can only imagine the kind of hell that is for a parent.
The Iowa Department of Human Services child welfare program has a documented history of poor performance with regard to their goals and outcomes going back at least to 2010, with little improvement observed when comparing data in 2018. It is obvious that their way is not working and things need to change. If they have known how big the problem is, WHY were they granted immunity from persecution? When are we going to hold these agencies, and the ancillary service providers they contract with, acccountable to higher standards?
I was also rather appalled to find these statistics included in a publication from the Iowa Foster and Adoptive Parent Association (IFAPA) called The Child Abuse Assessment: A Guide for Foster Parents
I thought I was frustrated and angry about this broken system before… but the deeper I dig, the more disgusted I get. Wouldn’t it make more sense to WORK WITH FAMILIES using evidence based practices and training to offer support and empower parents for a better future as a means of minimizing the risk and incidence of child abuse?
Leading Change by Example
If everyone is waiting for someone else to do right before they will, then I will go first! I have been going first, making every effort to lead by example. I offer encouragement to those around me and I help people whenever I can, regardless of social status, without expecting something in return. I do it because I know that we are only as strong as our weakest link and that everyone deserves a chance to grow and be happy!
I have forgiven the DHS case worker for the malicious and petty things she did to my family, because I have to believe in my heart that she earnestly believes that she is saving children. We see tragedy on the news, but none of us really have any idea what its like to take on perpetrators of child abuse and witness the evils that we all are capable of. I forgive her because I am able to foresee the tremendous amount of pain and heartbreak she will feel when it truly hits her how much damage and destruction she has caused in the world. Not too mention, the wrath of the Gods when karma comes back for her….
I have forgiven the father of my children for his ignorance in undermining me as the responsible parent. I have forgiven my mother for resenting me, and the actions she took that put my children and I directly in harms way. I have forgiven my ex-step father and the rest of my family for standing by and doing nothing, or for feeding into the lies and turning against me. I have forgiven so many people that have done nothing but work against me my entire life. My younger self struggled with forgiveness and would find this infathomable, but in the darkness I have found the true meaning of forgiveness.
It takes maturity, and humility, and compassion… and it was hard at first but it has gotten easier. I was able to forgive because I put myself in their shoes and humanized the people around me. I allowed myself to explore the motives and psychology behind every attack. I learned in college and I know firsthand how much easier it is to project blame and point the finger, because then one can avoid the incredibly painful and arduous process of admitting personal faults as the first step of shadow work. So, I can understand the ongoing animosity I experience, because if people that have done me wrong admit that I am not the terrible monster they made me out to be, then they have no choice but to look at themselves and their own actions.
Time for Some Tough Love
I have been counseling people for many years now, and the most resounding theme I run into is everyone wants to talk about what so and so did to them in the past and how that justifies the way he or she is living today. The division between us all has just gotten worse, and in case ya haven’t noticed, the decline in our mental health has been directly proportionate to it.
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. I believe people should be held accountable when they hurt another in some way, but I refuse to hold grudges or retaliate against those that have hurt me. The Universal Law of Attraction states “you reap what you sow.” That is why I forgive everyone, because like Will Smith said: “hate in your heart will consume you too.”
I wish I could wave a magick wand and tell everyone all at once: “Ok, we are gonna do a complete reset. That means you are forgiven of all your sins against your fellow man. You are forgiven for the petty little actions that you validated with excuses like ‘well he did this’ or ‘she deserved it.’ You are forgiven for your failures and your inabilities. Every single one of you. This also means that you must forgive everyone around you for their failures and shortcomings. You have to forgive your self and your fellow man for being human. You have to take accountability for your own healing so we can all move forward to a healthier, more compassionate and inclusive society. So…
When I wave this magick wand, all is forgiven and we all get to start with a fresh clean slate and we all are in agreement that we are ready to be better and do better so we can return to a harmonious society that actually cares for our neighbors… for our brothers and sisters… and we will no longer live as a society that acts one way all week and begs for forgiveness for our sins on Sundays.”
It’s not easy to look within and do the shadow work necessary to accept and integrate those parts of yourself. It’s not easy to admit our faults or apologize for the wrongs we have committed. It might not be easy to let down your walls and open your heart to give and receive unconditional love and support, but all of that is necessary. And its gonna take every one of us…
That’s All For Now
If you or someone you know are facing allegations of child abuse and/or have an open CINA case, please contact me! I have a vast network and plentiful resources to help! I offer real-world advice in a multitude of areas related to managing a household, child development and psychology, resources for parents, IEP/504 evaluations, working with schools, college prep, the legal process, family court, health and mental health care, shadow work, overcoming adversity, and many more. Jim is a very talented carepenter and knowledgeable in virtually any and all household repairs. Currently, it is necessary that I must limit our service area to Benton County, Iowa and surrounding counties, but we will certainly give consideration to those in need that live outside of our immediate area.
If you are interested in joining my efforts, please contact me ASAP! Hit that subscribe button and stay tuned to stay informed about our progress!
If you have a great idea that would help solve a social issue or you want to learn more about the classes, head over to Acumen Academy. They offer a variety of free and paid courses that focus on leadership and business development. Some of the classes are on demand, and others are schedule and range from a few hours to 6=8 weeks.
The World’s School for Social Change
Namaste and Blessed be, my friends!
Peace, Love and Rainbows 😉
XOXO
Iridescent Alchemyst 
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